Mixed Bag of Feelings

The last week at work has been weird and wonderful. I finally cut and made that coat and the process was an extraordinary emotional journey in more than one way.

So here are a few snapshots of the work in progress and the final product.

Finishing a work like this fills me with relief as well as a sense of loss. Relief, because I stare at areas of imperfection and time does not permit to alter or re-work those areas. Sense of loss, because over the course of making an item I become so familiar with it’s core and insides- it’s like developing a very intimate relationship with an item that ceases to be a mere ‘object’. So it’s like Impatiently waiting to see the back of it and not wanting to let it go…

Another weird sensation during the process of making the coat was that so very many things I just did without knowing why or questioning whether this was the best method. This sense of ‘autopilot’ after a 18 year hiatus surprised me. Yet other aspects of making this coat had vanished from my memory and I had to consult various books or other resources (many of them giving contradicting advice) or simply use common sense.

What stressed me out considerably was the fact that I had no idea  which stage of the work process would induce the above mentioned States of  autopilot or lack of memory!

And finally, I was surprised that doing something I did in a different time and place with an entirely different group of people took me back… I thought of so many people I had worked with, it took some time to remember so many of the names, and I wonder what they are all doing now… I also remembered why I was pleased to get out of this line of work – despite all the glamour and glory, it is a stressful job which is not really that well paid. One is either drowning in work or there is none… And there is just no job security, one is as good as one’s last job and reputation. So in many ways, one’s personality and relationships are just as important as one’s skill set…